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How to Always Have More to Give

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On of the biggest questions I hear about self-care is, “Isn’t self-care selfish?” There is a perception that to care for the self is the same as being consumed with the self. In other words, that self-care equals self-centered. Have you ever felt that way? Maybe you grew up in a tradition that modeled putting others first, so anything that encourages prioritizing yourself looks contrary to what is right. I understand how this perception takes root and that it can be difficult to see things differently, but for the next few moments, would you consider the possibility that selfishness may actually result from NOT practicing self-care?

I can think of no better example of selflessness and self-sacrifice than Jesus Christ. He also was a master at self-care. Jesus often withdrew to remote locations to restore Himself. He napped in the midst of crisis. He practiced healthy boundaries by setting limits and saying no to other people’s agendas that were not in alignment with His purpose. And yet He was generous, compassionate and patient. Jesus always had more to give…because He regularly replenished Himself. His needs were met, so He could freely focus on others instead.

Self-care, practiced on a consistent basis, creates the internal resources needed when love asks you to sacrifice for someone else.
Selfishness is usually present when self-care is absent. Whenever you are operating out of depletion, you will be consumed with filling that need, whether it is food, sleep, affection, approval, etc. Other people become a means to that end. And THAT is what creates a state of selfishness. Eventually you will give with hidden motives, avoid setting healthy limits out of fear and resent others for not taking care of you.

Practicing self-care allows you to be LESS focused on yourself and more generous with others. When your basic physical, emotional, spiritual and mental needs have been met, you can give freely without expecting it to be returned. You will be less consumed with thoughts of yourself and more present to the opportunities available to you moment by moment. Self-care, practiced on a consistent basis, creates the internal resources needed when love asks you to sacrifice for someone else.

There is a rhythm and flow between caring for your self and caring for others. And it will take practice to find your groove in it. But remember, when you are generous and patient with yourself, generosity and patience will more easily flow out to others. Jesus even stated in the second greatest commandment to love others as you love yourself. Self-care and self-sacrifice are two sides of the same coin.

Think about how you carry yourself at work, at home and in your community when you are tired, stressed and depleted. Now picture those same arenas of your life when you are operating on all cylinders, fully charged in your mind, heart, body and spirit. Practicing self-care is actually a generous act toward others, because it allows you to give them the very best of who you are.

To Your Great Life!

Becky

Becky Henderson
Becky Henderson
I am a catalyst to uncover the blocks and barriers getting in your way of creating the life you desire. Together we can transform the obstacles into opportunities. I listen to what you say…and what you do not say. Similar to a mirror, I show you what you cannot see on your own right now, and tell you what is necessary to create the results you are looking for. I value who you are and where you want to go in life.
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