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Your Trump Card In Life (Part 1/2)

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Growing up in Bad Axe, family holidays and birthdays usually included a rousing game of Rook. I remember the card tables and folding chairs being brought out for hours of family fun; sometimes there were 3 or 4 games going at once. At least that’s how I remember it.

While I haven’t played in years, I remember the trump card well. It was the coveted bird that beat out all other cards, no matter what. I remember hoping and praying for that card with each hand, because the possessor of the bird would almost always win the game.  Oh the power!

There is actually a trump card in life. And it is located in a very specific domain. Accessing this domain connects us to our source of power to effectively function in all other domains. But problems arise when we get our domains confused, and we’re left trying to access power within domains where power just doesn’t exist. However, getting back to our trump card is actually simple when we know where it’s located. In a way, it’s like stacking the deck.

We don’t live as though we have a story, we live as though we are our story.

The domains available to operate in are Being Doing and Having. Today, we’re looking at what we experience when we confuse who we are with what we have or don’t have. Often when we speak of our circumstances (what we have), we declare that that’s who we are. We identify with our having, rather than seeing it as distinct and separate from our being. See, we don’t live as though we have a story, we live as though we are our story. Take a look at these examples when describing our situations or roles in life:

  • I am a lawyer vs. I have a law career
  • I am unemployed vs. I don’t have a job
  • I am a wife and mom vs I have a spouse and children
  • I am sick vs. I have an illness
  • I am afraid vs. I have fear
  • I am financially wealthy vs. I have money
  • I am healthy vs. I have a healthy body
  • I am insecure vs. I have insecure thoughts
  • I am a homeowner vs. I have a home
  • I am a businessman/woman vs. I have a business
I submit that what exist in the domain of being are spirit, word and possibility; it is the realm of the eternal, the unseen and declared. What exist in the domain of having are circumstances, situations and results; it is the realm of the temporal, the seen and described. One is not better than the other, just realize that power is available in who we are and not available in what we have. What we have has no authority or impact on who we are…unless we give it authority in our speaking, unless we say so. But who we are will always endure beyond what we have and will actually create and/or destroy what we have. That’s powerful.

Power is available in who we are and not available in what we have.

So what is the trump card exactly? Come back next week because we are only halfway there. We have a little more ground to cover first. Pay attention this week to all the ways you may be seeing who you are through the filter of what you have or don’t have.  Just notice it.  It will enrich our next conversation.
Be Great!

Becky

Becky Henderson
Becky Henderson
I am a catalyst to uncover the blocks and barriers getting in your way of creating the life you desire. Together we can transform the obstacles into opportunities. I listen to what you say…and what you do not say. Similar to a mirror, I show you what you cannot see on your own right now, and tell you what is necessary to create the results you are looking for. I value who you are and where you want to go in life.
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Showing 4 comments
  • Steve Rumpf
    Reply

    Guess what… In retirement years (semi-retired for me; I sub in our local public school system 3 days a week) I still struggle with “having” or “not having,” So, I do a lot of self-talk about who I “am.” Looking forward to part two; even as I looked forward to the trump card in many, many family card games…

    • Becky Henderson
      Reply

      That’s exactly it…defining who I am by what I have or don’t have, and not knowing that I’m doing it, creates real struggle. You’re gonna love part 2, Steve! Thanks for commenting. I’m jealous of your students…none of my sub teachers had nearly as many cool stories as you do 🙂

  • Steve Rumpf
    Reply

    This thought is so important to me: “What happened happened.” That’s it. No more “What happened means I am __________, or they are _______.” Matthew West’s song “Hello My Name Is” has become my theme song at age 73… I am going to recommend your blog to my brother Dave in California. Thanks Bad Axe Becky…

    • Becky Henderson
      Reply

      Thank you, Steve! Yes, that way of viewing experiences has become incredibly freeing for me. I’m so glad it’s hitting home with you, too. And thanks for sharing with your brother.

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