Are Some People Just Born Happy?

Do some people come out of the womb smiling and others frowning?  One school of thought is that happiness is our natural state of being, and that life experiences get in the way of our authentic expression of that happiness. I also know a lot of moms that will tell you their child arrived as Grumpy Gus already.

I have no authority to say either way, whether we are or aren’t naturally happy. However, I know that we are genetically programmed to BE happy. That may sound like an obvious statement, but most of us never consider that the only reason happiness is even possible for us is that we are specifically designed for it as humans. Since we are designed for it, experiencing happiness is accessible for every human. But this is not a random, luck of the draw, lottery ticket in life kind of experience. It’s an experience of activating your God-given capacity to generate happiness through choice.

So what kind of choice generates happiness? The most important choice is choosing to be happy. Really. As long as you’re telling yourself that you’re never going to be happy, guess what? You won’t. That’s how powerfully your own language is already at work in your life. Notice how you speak and then live in a way that reflects what you say is and isn’t possible. So if happiness has eluded you, and you’ve seen it as something for others but not for yourself, then it’s time to get intentional with choosing it as a real possibility for yourself.

Once chosen and declared as possible, happiness becomes a context to live from through integrity. That means your actions line up with your declared position of being happy. Research in Positive Psychology and the study of happiness has identified practices that happy people frequently engage in:

• relational expression
• kindness
• mindfulness
• optimism
• gratitude
• physical exercise
• service
• spiritual purpose
• flow

But here’s the distinction: people can practice all of the wonderful things on this list and still be miserable. How? Because these “happy practices” done in a context of “I’ll never be happy,” only produce more unhappiness. And only always. But when done in the context of “I choose to be happy,” these practices are fueled with integrity as an authentic expression of your chosen stance. Practice becomes habit, and habit leaves you with happiness as your “natural” way of being.

I don’t know that anyone is naturally happy, as in born happy. I can say happiness is as natural as a field of wheat. Or as natural as a professional athlete or world-class musician.  It requires capacity, intention and aligned action to bring it about. You were born with the capacity for happiness; you arrived with it already established so there is nothing left to do for that.   But you must choose your intention to actually be happy and then live with integrity from that place in order to experience it. Happiness gets chosen, nurtured and habituated. At that point it only looks natural to everyone else.

Why am I so happy? Because I say so. And then I live so.  There is nothing more and nothing less to it.  And that’s awesome!

(If you missed last week’s post, How To Be Unreasonably Happy, now is the perfect time to check it out.)

Be Great!

Becky