Extraordinary Marriage Project: Hope To Stand On 2

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“Interesting thing about birds of paradise…the males have flashy colors, and when they’re ready for a mate they dance wildly and sing loudly to attract the attention of a female. Where oh where is my flashy-colored, wild-dancin’, loud singin’ bird of paradise? Seems like they’re all extinct!” –Becky’s journal.

Have you ever seen one of these guys in action?  If not, you can take a quick look HERE.  Birds of paradise are fascinating.  They remind me that if we are committed to finding a mate we must keep showing up and engaging in the process.  Today’s post is the continuation of last week’s excerpt, Hope To Stand On.  If you’ve struggled to hold out hope for a loving relationship as you date, use these principles to build yourself a solid foundation to live from and refuel your hope within.  These are not meant to be understood.  They are meant to be put into practice.  See what comes alive in your experience with dating when you do!

“The Lord will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.”

–Isaiah 58:11


You are hardwired for greatness. It’s in your DNA. Nobody enters the world shooting for mediocre. But that’s what many resign themselves to, settling for mediocre lives and mediocre marriages. And yet, the greatness is still there, still available, still in you. Live from it, and bring greatness TO your relationship.

Relationships are mirrors, reflecting perfectly where we need to heal and grow.

You’re already okay. You have only ever been okay. Being married doesn’t make you okay. Being okay is as constant and enduring as being human, independent of your situation. No matter what you’ve faced, I bet you’ve never stressed over not being human. But you stress over not being okay. Your situation—married, single, dating, divorced, widowed—can’t alter your being human, and it can’t alter your being okay.

Without hope, you already have what you’re believing for—nothing.

You were born creative and persistent. Nothing stopped you. But as you grew, you learned to conform and to stop, covering up your God-designed nature to keep going. As you date, what if you live from the curiosity and tenacity of your two-year old self?

Imposters, imitators and counterfeits are all evidence that the genuine article already exists.

What if everything you experience in life is happening for your growth?

You may be begging God to send you a spouse that will cherish you, but are you cherishing all the love God is already surrounding you with? Stop restricting HOW God demonstrates His love for you. Why not open your heart to every way He chooses to love you instead? (Enjoy this guided meditation on opening to love.)

You will never struggle to find love when you remember you are love.

Love is already in you and drawing you toward your mate.

You are love. You attract love. What if you lived each day as if you and your spouse are on a collision course?

You are love, and the love of your life is showing up. It may or may not be the person you are dating today. Either way, you are loved.

When you finally meet your mate, the wait will make more sense than you can possibly see right now.

During this time of dating and relating as you journey toward your spouse, working with someone that can help you see into your blind-spots can bring exponential benefits to yourself and your marriage. Consider that there may be something you can’t see in yourself—your way of being—right now that’s actually getting in your way of creating the relationship you so deeply desire. It’s impossible to deal with something when you don’t know it’s there. Imagine clearing out anything in the way of being ready for your mate.

Be Great!


Becky Henderson
Becky Henderson
I am a catalyst to uncover the blocks and barriers getting in your way of creating the life you desire. Together we can transform the obstacles into opportunities. I listen to what you say…and what you do not say. Similar to a mirror, I show you what you cannot see on your own right now, and tell you what is necessary to create the results you are looking for. I value who you are and where you want to go in life.
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