Free Your Dream From The Attachment Trap

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“Has it ever crossed your mind that not every thought that crosses your mind is yours?” –C.S.Lewis

After last week’s post on Keeping Your Dream Alive, I’ve had several readers ask to continue the conversation of being committed and not attached to a dream. It’s important to see that being committed and not attached really is a way of being for all of your life. So even though we’re focusing in on a way of being with your dreams, you can read this for the day-to-day situations you find yourself in as well.

How can you spot an attachment? Here are a THREE BIG ONES:

Your dream is trapped in attachment when there’s a sense that things either must always stay the same (resistance to change) or must change (resistance to the way it currently is). If there is a sense that life must be anything other than what’s actually happening right now, that’s an attachment.

Your dream is trapped in attachment when it can only be attained in a certain way. The attachment is to all the details—the how—of it coming to pass in your life. It cuts off all other possibilities and opportunities regarding who, where, when and what will occur for the dream to be fulfilled.

Your dream is trapped in attachment when attaining it means you’ll finally be loved, happy, whole, successful, etc. This always leaves your wellbeing dependent on your circumstances. You are attached, and desperate, for certain outcomes because your security is on the line.

Each of these attachments ultimately comes from one place: attachment to thought. The problem is not that we have thoughts about our dreams. The problem is that we believe those thoughts to be true! Instead of examining and questioning them, we automatically believe every thought we experience.

Consider what life coach, Michael Neill, has to say, “We’re not afraid of what we think we’re afraid of. We’re afraid of what we think.” In the following video, Michael gives a fascinating Tedx Talk on the freedom available when we stop attaching to every thought that runs through our mind.

You can pursue your dream without attaching to the thoughts that just don’t serve you in the process. The path of non-attachment is not indifference. In fact, it’s holding a clear commitment to what you want to create but free from any thought that would leave you afraid, disempowered and stuck in the process. Non-attachment creates space:

  • Space to be with any situation just as it is, whether changing or staying the same, rather than living from resistance, which only intensifies suffering.
  • Space to consider new possibilities and ways of going after what you want, rather than getting stopped when what you tried didn’t work.
  • Space to experience wellbeing right now as a chosen stance to live from that is not impacted by shifting circumstances, rather than waiting on life to turn out in order to be okay.

Take some time to get present to the attachments that have left you afraid, disempowered and stuck regarding your dream.  Now imagine what would be available if you just give space to (detach from) those thoughts. Let them pass; they’re not true anyway.  What would be next for you if you stop letting those thoughts tell you what’s possible?

Be Great!


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Becky Henderson
Becky Henderson
I am a catalyst to uncover the blocks and barriers getting in your way of creating the life you desire. Together we can transform the obstacles into opportunities. I listen to what you say…and what you do not say. Similar to a mirror, I show you what you cannot see on your own right now, and tell you what is necessary to create the results you are looking for. I value who you are and where you want to go in life.
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