Supercoach, Michael Neill, created an interesting mental exercise. Imagine I offer you a job working at a casino for $500 a night. I hire you to play with the house’s money and have a great time all night long to encourage other customers to play.
At the beginning of each evening, you will be given $50,000 in chips to play with. At the end of the night, you will turn in whatever chips you have left and leave with your $500 in your pocket.
What might that be like for you? How would you show up, in that scenario, regarding money and your wellbeing? What impact would a big win make? And what if you lost it all? Either way, you’re taking home what was promised to you. What would that be like for you on the inside? Consider that you have been given a promise regarding your wellbeing from your Creator…and it has nothing to do with how much money you make or don’t make in this world.
I have found that people struggle with money because of a fundamental expectation of “I need money in order to be okay.” The idea is that money is going to do something for who I am. This breeds fear of not having enough and all kinds of attachments of, “I’ll be okay when __________.” Not only is it backwards (having never creates being), it’s a trap. It has me never being okay right now. And when my “when” arrives, it doesn’t actually make me okay; the goalpost moves and the striving continues. Have you ever found yourself in this exact place? More money doesn’t bring more peace, love or wellbeing. That’s not its function.
Then to complicate matters, we can carry conflicting beliefs: wanting more money consciously, but believing we don’t deserve it subconsciously. We can fear having it AND fear being without it. Most of us so closely identify with our money, it has actually become a socially acceptable way to show the world what we think of ourselves, both positive and negative, and even overcompensate for what we think of ourselves. We also hold judgments about who others are based on the money they have or don’t have.
All of the above creates resistance with money in our lives. And as Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.” It’s the struggle with the way something is that keeps us from transforming our experience with it. So today, I’d like you to get honest about your money expectations, even the conflicting ones. Whatever limiting things you tell yourself on a regular basis about money, imagine you could never have those thoughts again. How would you show up in your life without those particular thoughts about money? What would be different for you at work, at home, in your overall wellbeing?
What do you notice about yourself when money is no longer making you okay, secure, loved, happy, important or accepted? Imagine how it would be to live from a deep unshakeable sense that wellbeing is your birthright—it’s who you already are—and money is just a vehicle to do some cool stuff with as long as you’re on the planet. Making peace with both having AND not having money is your access to living freely with it. It’s a paradox. And I don’t want you to believe me. I want you to just notice what happens when you give up the attachments, judgments and identities with money you’ve carried up until now. You may end up having a lot more fun on this journey.
Check out these previous posts that will help you in transforming your relationship with money: