Do ever find yourself frustrated with your efforts to improve your life? Maybe you can achieve a level of progress but are unable to sustain it. Or maybe success seems always just out of reach. If you have ever experienced the reality of “always striving and never arriving,” the next few weeks are for you. If you are committed to creating a great life for yourself and for those you love, you must come to know and align with the principle of BE DO HAVE.
Have you heard of it? It is a universal paradigm. I often have conversations with clients and friends that have never heard of it before, so I thought it time to introduce it to my audience. I first learned of it in Franklin Covey’s time management training, but this principle is timeless. It is an observation on how life functions, much like the law of gravity—it just is. BE DO HAVE asserts that it is our being that shapes our doing which then produces our having. Some refer to it as the Law of Creation. This may be very new for you, and I’ll explain how it works in just a minute, but first I’d like to discuss it from an angle you may be more familiar with.
If you are committed to creating a great life for yourself and for those you love, you must come to know and align with the principle of BE DO HAVE.
Many people, unaware of this paradigm, attempt to live from HAVE DO BE instead—I have
in order to be
. I HAVE to MAKE a lot of money to BE happy. I HAVE to MARRY the right person to BE complete. I HAVE to OWN the right house in the right neighborhood to BE accepted. I HAVE to WIN their approval to BE loved. I HAVE to GET that promotion to BE successful. Does this sound pretty normal to you? Most of us have some version of this in how we move through life. You may not have these exact conscious thoughts, but where can you see this at work in yourself? It may even may appear to work for awhile, but long-term it doesn’t hold up.
According to BE DO HAVE, in order for life to actually work, it functions more like the following: I AM happy, so I DO things that produce HAVING money. I AM complete, so I ATTRACT & MARRY the right person and HAVE a great marriage. I AM successful, so I DO what’s required to HAVE that promotion. I AM loved, so I GENERATE healthy relationships in my life and HAVE authentic community. I AM enough, so I GIVE generously and HAVE freedom of expression. I AM healthy, so I EXERCISE & EAT to HAVE optimal energy and strength. HAVING is a byproduct of DOING that flows from BEING. This is always true.
Many people, unaware of this paradigm, attempt to live from HAVE DO BE instead—I have to do in order to be.
Take a look around your life. Consider that whenever you live in opposition to this principle, you will experience either frustration (feeling stuck), temporary gains (success that does not last) or imbalance (success in one area of life while other areas suffer). But whenever you live in alignment with BE DO HAVE, you will experience ease, increase and aliveness; more thriving with less striving. Your doing becomes the authentic expression of who you really are, rather than the attempt at compensating for who you think you are (or are not).
Begin to notice this week where you currently live as if you have to do in order to be. Where do you see frustration, striving or damage? Also notice where you are living from your being already. Where do you see ease of movement, thriving and vitality? Over the next few weeks we will look deeply at Being Doing and Having to show you how living from this paradigm actually works.
To Your Great Life!