I was in a conversation recently and the other person had an amazing talent for interrupting anytime I was speaking. What was funny is that she would preface herself each time with, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
It occurred to me in that moment that the only people who say “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” are people that are interrupting. And not just people that are interrupting, but people that have some sense of awareness that they are interrupting. Nobody who is actively listening ever says, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
And no one that is completely oblivious that they’re interrupting ever says it either. My 4 year old niece interrupts all the time, but she has no awareness that that’s happening. She could care less if anyone views it as an interruption. More importantly, she does not see herself as an interruption, that is to say she has not learned to see herself as an interruption.
I have a client waking up to this in his own life. He says he doesn’t want to be a stressor or burden in his relationships. He goes to great lengths to NOT be a burden. But the only reason he needs to do this is because he , in fact, sees himself as a burden on some level. Notice he doesn’t go to great lengths to not be hateful, abusive, rude, etc., because he never occurs to himself
as being these things to begin with. He has no need to compensate for things he doesn’t see himself to be, only for the things he does.
We only attempt to compensate for things we sense are issues in our lives, not the things we don’t. Where in your life are you attempting to NOT be a certain way? Right there is a glimpse into the part of you that believes you ARE that way. Uncomfortable yet? Not only does part of you believe you are that way, another part of you has judged it as bad or wrong, hence the need to cover it up and compensate. You are very talented at it, by the way. You’ve done most of that unconsciously.
But I’d like you to consider that what you are covering up is not actually you; it’s just the made-up story you have about you. Like my 4 year old niece, there was a time in your life before you had a story about who you are. And then you learned to have one. Who would you be without that old familiar story?
So I absolutely mean to interrupt you! I mean to interrupt the hypnotic perception you have of yourself. Instead of trying to compensate for the “bad thing” you have learned to see yourself as, you can take responsibility for showing up—first to yourself and then to others—as the opportunity you really are. Consider the impact you will have each time you choose to show up as an opportunity in your home, work, and community. I want you to get the sense that who you really are is actually amazing, and powerful and more than enough. And the world needs you to live that out. Every. Day.