New Eyes For Christmas

I spoke to a group of Jr. High students recently, and I asked them a question. “Imagine each of you are wearing a pair of glasses with purple lenses. Looking at me, what color would I be?” It was a very enthusiastic bunch, and they yelled out, “Purple!”

But one lone ranger among them yelled, “White!” Lone Ranger got it.  Looking through purple lenses doesn’t actually change the color I am; I am still Caucasian…aka Whitey McWhitey. Purple lenses only impact the perception—the experience—of the viewer and actually  get in the way of seeing me as I really am.

Lenses shape what we look for. And some lenses are more entrenched than others. We come to expect certain ways of being from our spouse, kids, boss, friends, parents, neighbors…other drivers on the road! When there is a lot of history with someone, what we look for is basically on autopilot. We have a habitual way of experiencing that person or situation. But the truth is, we rarely, if ever, actually experience that person or situation. We experience our judgment of that person or situation.

Take a look and see it for yourself in your own life. When was the last time you had an experience that didn’t include some sense of good/bad, right/wrong or should/shouldn’t? How about an experience that didn’t leave you with a conclusion about what it all must mean for yourself or others?

There is a fascinating experiment by Canon that demonstrates how what we find is greatly influenced by what we seek. It involves six photographers capturing the “essence” of one man. Instead, they capture the essence of their perception of that man—their bias, their expectation, their lens—each based on a different story told about him.  Check this out!

When you wake up to your own wearing of lenses, suddenly you have a choice to keep looking through them or take them off.   Even if you choose to leave them on, you are aware that you’re looking through them and that they are coloring everything you see. You look with the awareness that what you’re seeing is your perception of reality, not reality itself.  It leaves you taking ownership for your experience rather than blaming outside forces.  And the possibility to remove the lenses whenever they don’t serve you or others is always available.

The real difficulty comes when you don’t know that you don’t know you’re looking through lenses. You mistake your perception for reality—for what is—when in fact it’s just your judgment of what is. It impacts the quality of your relationships. Every encounter. Every conversation. Because what you’re looking for has greater impact on what you see than what you’re looking at.

Got any lenses getting in the way of your marriage? Family? Friendships? Work? Are you willing to take them off? Look deeply at who is in front of you. Who do you see now? It’s amazing what you’ll notice without that log…I mean lens…getting in your way. What a gift you are in your world when you look with new eyes.

Be Great!

Becky