How many of you ladies and gentlemen resonated with this romantic sentiment of epic Hollywood love when Jerry Maguire hit the big screen in 1996? Maybe you still do J. Such a lovely idea; you complete me. Except that it’s complete nonsense. Really. I know I may be stepping into well-guarded territory with this one, but would you consider, just for a moment, that one human being completing another human being actually never happens?
Let’s look at an oak tree. Everything an oak tree needs in order to BE an oak tree is contained within its seed (acorn) from its beginning. An acorn does not grow into an oak tree by taking parts from other acorns to compensate for not being enough. When a new acorn is produced, it is produced complete already. Does it need vital elements to grow? Absolutely. Dirt, sun and water seem to do the trick. But these elements do not make the oak tree more of an oak tree…they release what is already inside the acorn, expanding it’s being. It is a picture of fully expressing what already is, not compensating for what isn’t.
Is it possible, that when we are born into this world, we arrive complete already? That everything we need to BE enough is already who we are? That it can never leave us? What if we have mistaken the vital elements in our lives—relationships, work, food, etc.—for inadequate substitutes that will make up for what we perceive we’re missing? Ironically, no matter how much enough-ness we gather to ourselves from “out there,” it’s never enough. And as long as our completeness and enough-ness is “out there”, in someone or something else, we will never consider the possibility that completeness and enough-ness is already “in here”, hardwired into our very DNA. We will not only keep looking to other “out there’s” to get our fix, we will insist on it. So I ask you to consider this possibility now.
What if you, like the oak tree, have been created complete by God already? What if no external person or circumstance could ever do that for you…because it has already been done? Meaning you arrived here that way by design. What if people and things outside of you are there to complement and draw out who you are, rather than compensate for who you think you’re not? How would this impact how you show up in your life? And who would be responsible for the quality of the life you live? How would you contribute? How would you love? How would you risk? Would there be anything left to fear?
Honestly, I do not want the role of trying to make someone else feel enough or complete. What if Jerry Maguire had said, “I love you. In me, you’ll be getting a partner that is whole already. It’s not your job to complete me.”? Yeah, Hollywood isn’t exactly banging down my door for movie lines. But I’ll take this version any day; it’s where real life actually works. Remember, the land of “complete, whole, enough” is not a place to get to. It does not exist out there. It is a place to come from. And it’s up to you to discover this great land you already possess.
To Your Great Life!