The Biggest Hollywood Lie…EVER

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“And now I just… I don’t know… but on what was supposed to be the happiest night of my business life, it wasn’t complete, wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn’t share it with you.  I couldn’t hear your voice, or laugh about it with you.  I missed my wife.  We live in a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors, so try not to laugh–I love you.  You complete me.” – Jerry Maguire (Script made available at

How many of you ladies and gentlemen resonated with this romantic sentiment of epic Hollywood love when Jerry Maguire hit the big screen in 1996?  Maybe you still do J.  Such a lovely idea; you complete me.  Except that it’s complete nonsense.  Really.  I know I may be stepping into well-guarded territory with this one, but would you consider, just for a moment, that one human being completing another human being actually never happens?

Such a lovely idea; you complete me.  Except that it’s complete nonsense.

Let’s look at an oak tree.  Everything an oak tree needs in order to BE an oak tree is contained within its seed (acorn) from its beginning.  An acorn does not grow into an oak tree by taking parts from other acorns to compensate for not being enough.  When a new acorn is produced, it is produced complete already.  Does it need vital elements to grow?  Absolutely.  Dirt, sun and water seem to do the trick.  But these elements do not make the oak tree more of an oak tree…they release what is already inside the acorn, expanding it’s being.  It is a picture of fully expressing what already is, not compensating for what isn’t.

Is it possible, that when we are born into this world, we arrive complete already?  That everything we need to BE enough is already who we are?  That it can never leave us?  What if we have mistaken the vital elements in our lives—relationships, work, food, etc.—for inadequate substitutes that will make up for what we perceive we’re missing? Ironically, no matter how much enough-ness we gather to ourselves from “out there,” it’s never enough.  And as long as our completeness and enough-ness is “out there”, in someone or something else, we will never consider the possibility that completeness and enough-ness is already “in here”, hardwired into our very DNA.  We will not only keep looking to other “out there’s” to get our fix, we will insist on it.  So I ask you to consider this possibility now.

What if Jerry Maguire had said, “I love you.  In me, you’ll be getting a partner that is whole already.  It’s not your job to complete me.”?

What if you, like the oak tree, have been created complete by God already?  What if no external person or circumstance could ever do that for you…because it has already been done?  Meaning you arrived here that way by design.  What if people and things outside of you are there to complement and draw out who you are, rather than compensate for who you think you’re not?  How would this impact how you show up in your life?  And who would be responsible for the quality of the life you live?  How would you contribute?  How would you love?  How would you risk?  Would there be anything left to fear?

Honestly, I do not want the role of trying to make someone else feel enough or complete.  What if Jerry Maguire had said, “I love you.  In me, you’ll be getting a partner that is whole already.  It’s not your job to complete me.”?  Yeah, Hollywood isn’t exactly banging down my door for movie lines.  But I’ll take this version any day; it’s where real life actually works. Remember, the land of “complete, whole, enough” is not a place to get to.  It does not exist out there.  It is a place to come from.  And it’s up to you to discover this great land you already possess.

To Your Great Life!


Becky Henderson
Becky Henderson
I am a catalyst to uncover the blocks and barriers getting in your way of creating the life you desire. Together we can transform the obstacles into opportunities. I listen to what you say…and what you do not say. Similar to a mirror, I show you what you cannot see on your own right now, and tell you what is necessary to create the results you are looking for. I value who you are and where you want to go in life.
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  • Smedley

    Becky– spot on– someone needing to be completed is not a good candidate for romance/marriage. We do want complete people whom we will ultimately compliment. So many relationships fail because people look for others to complete them– ie rescue them. Relationships fail when people are not happy or complete within themselves.

  • Becky Henderson

    Thank you, John. I see it so often in my clients that are struggling in life. And I’ve also seen the joy, productivity and ease available when people really get how complete they already are.

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