Why Picking Sides Matters

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I dated Kyle for three months. He was very handsome, piercing green eyes, professional, loved to travel and had a sassy east-coast accent. My heart pounded inside my chest each time I saw him. He was charming and attentive…initially. But things quickly moved to a place where he would cancel dates at the last minute, not return phone calls, etc.

I was pretty sure I had slipped off his priority list altogether. I would get upset, tell myself I deserved better, and then jump back in the next time he called to get together again! This cycle repeated weekly. I genuinely believed that I was loved by God, so I struggled with the question, “How can God let Kyle do this to me?” But the truth is that I was the one letting Kyle do this to me, because deep down, even though I believed God loved me, I didn’t love me. And I finally recognized it in what I tolerated from Kyle.

In this Self-care series, I have described how loving and caring for your self creates a solid foundation for your life. But that is only partly true. It is more complete to say that you are co-creating that strong foundation. It is partnership and collaboration with God, and you can either be working WITH God or AGAINST God.

As you practice self-care, begin to notice where your behavior may be conflicting with your higher/conscious beliefs about yourself, God and others.
I have often wrestled with what is my part and what is God’s. I have ridden the swinging pendulum between abdicating all personal responsibility to act in my own life, believing I was powerless up against “God’s will” and giving God the proverbial bird along with a hearty “f&#@ you!” as I set out to do life on my own. The ‘on my own’ part started around two years old, where my daily anthem was, “I do it myself!” So according to mom, I came by it naturally.

My own journey covered many years of acquiring a head-knowledge that God loved and valued me. And I TRIED to get it into my heart, but it wouldn’t (couldn’t) sink in. I was the poster child for, “I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.” Maybe you can relate.

What I finally discovered as I dated Kyle is that the critical relationship I had with myself was actually preventing me from living in the fullness of God’s love for me. I could mentally acknowledge that I was highly valuable in God’s eyes, but as long as I remained worthless in my own eyes—in my heart—I struggled to feel and live out that high value. So I decided to get in alignment with the love of God by being as loving towards myself as God is. This has been the key to getting my heart to finally believe what my head has known for years. This is how I partner with God to co-create a solid foundation of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Everyday new things come into my awareness that need transformation, and now I care enough about myself to fully participate in that process.

As you practice self-care, begin to notice where your behavior may be conflicting with your higher/conscious beliefs about yourself, God and others. What does your behavior reveal about what you may believe on a deeper level? This is a great place to start your work.

If you would like support in your own transformation process, I would be honored to help.

To Your Great Life!


Becky Henderson
Becky Henderson
I am a catalyst to uncover the blocks and barriers getting in your way of creating the life you desire. Together we can transform the obstacles into opportunities. I listen to what you say…and what you do not say. Similar to a mirror, I show you what you cannot see on your own right now, and tell you what is necessary to create the results you are looking for. I value who you are and where you want to go in life.
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  • Fidelia

    Mais mais mais! Cette information est efªezyantr!!!ArrÃftea-moi si je me trompe mais: la fibre optique est très exactement ce qui pose problème à tout mon quartier lors de sa pose: ça ne communique pas!!! Ont-ils vraiment l’intention de poser des fibres optiques jusqu’à la lune, qd à 10 km de la centrale il y a des coupures ??? Ont-ils/vont-ils prévenus/prévenir les malheureux qui se font/vont se faire opérés via la fibre?

  • schufafrei kleinkredit rechner

    There are many reason why you loose your hair! It can be from stress, shock, unbalanced diet, lack of sleep, or health related!!! I alwayse recomend getting a yearly check up at the doctors to make sure it aint thyroide or any other reasons!But you need to know that there is a stage of hair growth you will loose more hair then normal it does this once a year! So if it’s a recent thing I would not worry.If it has been going on for a while ither see a doctor or try nioxin!


    , our offense is just not where it was last year…..We don’t get enough easy basketsin the half court, and our new, slow paced sytle doesn’t produce any points in transition…..Gotta go to the mantra….”23-4 work in progress…..23-4 work in progress…..

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