Have you ever struggled to be a human being? You’ve probably struggled in your experience as a human being, but I bet you have never struggled to be a human being. You arrived that way already.
You didn’t show up as an Oak tree, a German Shepherd or a parrot. You showed up human. Your humanness is so established and constant that it can never be diminished by any situation; you are always human, regardless of what you’re going through in this world. Whatever you face, you face it as human. And today I’d like you to consider that to be already human is to be already okay, always. Just like there is never a time you are not human, there is never a time you are not okay.
For most of us, we determine our okayness by our circumstances. When everything goes well, then we are okay. But if something goes awry in our health or finances or relationships, we’re no longer okay. For many it is a constant sense that we’re either not okay or about to not be okay. And that leaves us doing whatever we do when we believe we’re not okay—run away, attack, hunker down. It is a life of being on guard, self-protective and playing it safe. What if being okay is not an ever-changing state dependent on circumstances? What if it is the abiding essence of who we really are? Maybe we really are okay, even when we think we’re not.
Notice that if you lost your job you would never struggle with the thought, “I’m not going to be human!” But you may struggle with the thought, “I’m not going to be okay!” So try on the possibility that your okayness is just as established and unchangeable as your humanness. Try on the possibility that you could be facing very painful or challenging events, and facing them as who you really are, as being okay, always.
Have you heard of Rebekah DiMartino? She is an amazing woman who lost her left leg in the Boston marathon bombing in 2013. This past spring 2015, she competed in the same event. I love her statement in this ESPN article that “I got blown up and they tried to destroy me…they didn’t destroy me, and I’ve come back stronger because of it.” She gets it. She lost her leg, not who she is. Who she REALLY is can’t ever be touched by circumstances, not even a bomb.
I have worked with a lot of clients going through tough times that will say, “I’m going to be okay,” as in someday, down the road, but not today, not now. They are still living from a context of “I’m not okay,” which just creates more not okayness, and it leaves them depending on their situation to change before they can be okay again. So I offer them the possibility of living from “I’m already okay right now.” It’s not a description of their circumstance, it is a chosen declaration and way of being to operate from. It’s amazing to see the power they can access from that position. And so can you.
What if you are already completely okay right now? What if you always have been and just didn’t see it? I ask you to consider that there has never been a time you weren’t okay. Notice what actions become possible for you when you look from the position that you’re already and always okay. What would you start? What would you stop? What would you dare? You never have to let your circumstances dictate how okay you are, because who you really are always has been and will continue to be okay.